What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 00:35
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
I'm British and I hate my glasses. Are prescription glasses better in New York City?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Why do foolish atheists think their strange delusional theories are facts?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
What are you wearing under your clothes today?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Why am I so wanting to suck a penis?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Make Nazis afraid again!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
I'm British and feel ashamed of the crimes of British colonialism. What should I do?
TEXT:
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
What are some signs that a therapist may have poor boundaries with their clients?
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Why do only ugly women like me on Tinder? Is it because I'm an ugly man?
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.